I should be in bed. I should have an ice pack on my neck to relieve the stress. However, this is the best I've felt all day. We left town with littleM and bigM today at 10am. We had 2 appointments in LR and needed to do some essential shopping in Conway on the way. (I cannot send them to school next week in what they brought here)
I had to talk Sheridan into staying at home. She was really upset about not going, but she doesn't understand that she is emotionally exhausted. I can hear it in her voice and see it in her face. She is having the best time with the kids, has the best attitude toward them I could ever ask for, but it is taking it's toll. She's been almost an only child for a few months and she didn't realize she needed some "quiet time." I left her to relax with Ryan and Erin.
Our first appointment was with middleM's therapist. We are so thankful for the great facility he is at, for this seemingly very caring man who talks to him every day, who cares about him, and who encouraged us in preparing for his adjustment to our home. He answered a lot of our questions, took notes on our conversation and was very positive about us bringing him home soon. We set a date in February that we are using as our goal. We then got to visit middleM and discovered that he was confused about when he was coming home, had talked some of the attendants into helping him pack up his bags this morning, and had experienced a big disappointment today. How utterly despondent I would've been, but as a child who experiences disappointments every day, he seemed to have moved through it, wanted to show us some of his new Christmas toys, and was mildly interested in the fact that we were going to make a countdown calendar until he gets to come home. We looked at his toys, saw some of his schoolwork on the wall on the way out of the building, and then left him. Again.
BigM's appointment was at 3pm. We saw a doctor at 5:10. 2 hours and 10 minutes after our appointment time. I cannot write the sad details of our 8 minute visit with this doctor. I was about to lose my cool when I realized it would not help anyone for me to tell this doctor how I felt about the quality of our visit. I left with a headache in the middle of my forehead. The pressure was building.
My superhero was outside, having entertained our tiny spark plug for 2 hours and 15 minutes. We headed home, made an unplanned dinner stop (it was going to be after 7 when we got home), and apologized to everyone at home for basically abandoning them all day by themselves. Quote of the day...BigM says, "I can't wait to get home and see them!"
The worst part of the day wasn't yet upon us: Bedtime with a child who DOES NOT like to go to bed.
Call me spoiled, but I dread bedtime. (even thought it has boosted my prayer life) I haven't ever heard crying like this one does every night. Tonight, Richard came out of Ms room in record time, and I was amazed...and humbled by our BIG BIG God. Not one tear was shed.
AND THEN, bigM came in and showed me her new hairdo Erin created. (sweet, sweet sister love here)
AND THEN, bigM, Sheridan and I played a game of Junior Monopoly (even though I was sure I was going to take a hot Jacuzzi) and the game was fun! BigM was laughing, Sheridan was laughing, I was the loser, and the winner...all at the same time.
PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW. 4 days down, forever to go.
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