Showing posts with label Nine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nine. Show all posts
Sunday, August 23, 2015
Thursday, January 23, 2014
The Glorious Unfolding
Lay your head down tonight
Take a rest from the fight
Don’t try to figure it out
Just listen to what I’m whispering to your heart
‘Cause I know this is not
Anything like you thought
The story of your life was gonna be
And it feels like the end has started closing in on you
But it’s just not true
There’s so much of the story that’s still yet to unfold
And this is going to be a glorious unfolding
Just you wait and see and you will be amazed
You’ve just got to believe the story is so far from over
So hold on to every promise God has made to us
And watch this glorious unfolding
God’s plan from the start
For this world and your heart
Has been to show His glory and His grace
Forever revealing the depth and the beauty of
His unfailing Love
And the story has only begun
And this is going to be a glorious unfolding
Just you wait and see and you will be amazed
We’ve just got to believe the story is so far from over
So hold on to every promise God has made to us
And watch this glorious unfolding
We were made to run through fields of forever
Singing songs to our Savior and King
So let us remember this life we’re living
Is just the beginning of the beginning
Of this glorious unfolding
We will watch and see and we will be amazed
If we just keep on believing the story is so far from over
And hold on to every promise God has made to us
We’ll see the glorious unfolding
Just watch and see (unfolding)
This is just the beginning of the beginning (unfolding)
~Steven Curtis Chapman, Glorious Unfolding
Sunday, January 19, 2014
The Truth: Day 24
Friends are either 1) ignoring us, 2) telling us we're "such good people," or 3) squeezing my hand, looking in my eyes and praying for us. Note: people who adopt need to have their hand squeezed, looked in the eye, and prayed for.
Adoption is the hardest thing I have ever done...and I was in labor with Ryan for 22 hours. I've also survived a failed business. I just thought those tested my faith. But no, they were drops in the bucket compared to the buckets of tears I have shed in the last 22 days.
This is what I know:
1. The children we have are in the best place they could be.
2. They have not been parented in the last 3 years, as far as we can tell.
3. Children who have not been parented have LOTS AND LOTS of defensive mechanisms that they use to protect themselves. (crying, arguing, fussing, screaming, lying, complaining, etc)
4. Children who have not been parented have very few skills that other children might have. (wiping their bottoms, taking showers, eating with a fork, making decisions)
5. Children who have not had sisters and brothers in a home (where they haven't been parented) don't know things other children might know. (how to share without a major altercation, how to play with others and not fight, how to say any positive words, how to lose a game without a major meltdown)
6. Children who haven't been in a healthy home love to play hide and seek, get lots of hugs, play at playgrounds, ride scooters and shoot baskets in the driveway, have snacks, sit close to others on a couch, look at pictures of themselves, and go to church.
My husband is the rock of our family. He has stayed strong on the days I could not hardly talk without choking up. He has taken shifts at bedtime when I did not think I could. He has talked at least one of our kids down from a major fit on the phone, when he was out of town and I was out of ideas. On all my weak days he has been strong. (Note: Single parents...need their hands squeezed, looked in the eyes, and prayed for.)
I have asked myself a hundred times how parents parent if they don't have God. I have prayed over our days and our nights, our bedtimes and their teachers, over their reaction to our dinners, and about their words and their minds a million times EACH DAY. The hope I have in Christ and His ABSOLUTE SOVREIGNTY is sometimes ALL I HAVE to keep moving.
From the children's point of view (of which I can only guess), they have been picked up and moved in with strangers. They are at a new home, in a new town, in new schools. Their new mom and dad make them sit up at the table, share toys, help them pick out clothes/shoes/hairdos every day. They are hearing "no" more than they've ever heard before. It seems silly and is frustrating everytime we say "no." (Whether it is to limit their ketchup intake, restricting their wii time, enforcing a bedtime, or keeping them inside on a 30 degree day) They're here to stay and their normal tactics aren't working, they are not getting their way and, they don't know if they can trust what we say.
Last Sunday in church we sang:
"On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.
When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.
His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay"
I've sung these words since I was a child...and I must tell you I've never felt them like I did standing with all 9 of our family on one row at church.
This morning we sang:
"All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough"
If God is enough, and I've always thought I believed that...and I CHOOSE to believe that TODAY...then why am I sick to my stomach with anxiety, and why would I think He will give me more than He can handle in my life? I'm making this song my mantra this week, I'll hum it all week and remember that HE IS ENOUGH for this situation and for me, and for these kids.
Adoption is the hardest thing I have ever done...and I was in labor with Ryan for 22 hours. I've also survived a failed business. I just thought those tested my faith. But no, they were drops in the bucket compared to the buckets of tears I have shed in the last 22 days.
This is what I know:
1. The children we have are in the best place they could be.
2. They have not been parented in the last 3 years, as far as we can tell.
3. Children who have not been parented have LOTS AND LOTS of defensive mechanisms that they use to protect themselves. (crying, arguing, fussing, screaming, lying, complaining, etc)
4. Children who have not been parented have very few skills that other children might have. (wiping their bottoms, taking showers, eating with a fork, making decisions)
5. Children who have not had sisters and brothers in a home (where they haven't been parented) don't know things other children might know. (how to share without a major altercation, how to play with others and not fight, how to say any positive words, how to lose a game without a major meltdown)
6. Children who haven't been in a healthy home love to play hide and seek, get lots of hugs, play at playgrounds, ride scooters and shoot baskets in the driveway, have snacks, sit close to others on a couch, look at pictures of themselves, and go to church.
My husband is the rock of our family. He has stayed strong on the days I could not hardly talk without choking up. He has taken shifts at bedtime when I did not think I could. He has talked at least one of our kids down from a major fit on the phone, when he was out of town and I was out of ideas. On all my weak days he has been strong. (Note: Single parents...need their hands squeezed, looked in the eyes, and prayed for.)
I have asked myself a hundred times how parents parent if they don't have God. I have prayed over our days and our nights, our bedtimes and their teachers, over their reaction to our dinners, and about their words and their minds a million times EACH DAY. The hope I have in Christ and His ABSOLUTE SOVREIGNTY is sometimes ALL I HAVE to keep moving.
From the children's point of view (of which I can only guess), they have been picked up and moved in with strangers. They are at a new home, in a new town, in new schools. Their new mom and dad make them sit up at the table, share toys, help them pick out clothes/shoes/hairdos every day. They are hearing "no" more than they've ever heard before. It seems silly and is frustrating everytime we say "no." (Whether it is to limit their ketchup intake, restricting their wii time, enforcing a bedtime, or keeping them inside on a 30 degree day) They're here to stay and their normal tactics aren't working, they are not getting their way and, they don't know if they can trust what we say.
Last Sunday in church we sang:
"On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay"
This morning we sang:
"All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough"
If God is enough, and I've always thought I believed that...and I CHOOSE to believe that TODAY...then why am I sick to my stomach with anxiety, and why would I think He will give me more than He can handle in my life? I'm making this song my mantra this week, I'll hum it all week and remember that HE IS ENOUGH for this situation and for me, and for these kids.
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
New Normal
This is my catchphrase, "We're finding our new normal." It's the most concise (and subtle) way I can cover what is going on in our home right now. We're in a learning mode, all of us, and it's hard work. I've made myself sick thinking and re-thinking every part of every day, just looking for things to improve on.
We have lots of things to celebrate:
1. 4 nights in a row with no crying at bedtime for Cameron
2. School is in session
3. A good weekend with middleM
4. The big kids are at college and doing well
5. Richard has been home since last Friday and will only be gone 1 1/2 days this week
6. The kids received most of their toys from their former placements
7. There are only 5-6 of us to feed this week for meals, 3 at lunchtime
8. Sheridan and I are back to normalcy during the day, homeschooling
9. The weather is looking up, and we can play outside
10. Sheridan keeps bouncing backs after setbacks
11. All the kids sleep at night
12. I have 2 people to talk to outside of Richard who understand
13. Scripture reading and praying has become a solid rock of security for me in the last 19 days
God is working a miracle here. It's hard, but it's going to be so worth it to see what He's going to do.
We have lots of things to celebrate:
1. 4 nights in a row with no crying at bedtime for Cameron
2. School is in session
3. A good weekend with middleM
4. The big kids are at college and doing well
5. Richard has been home since last Friday and will only be gone 1 1/2 days this week
6. The kids received most of their toys from their former placements
7. There are only 5-6 of us to feed this week for meals, 3 at lunchtime
8. Sheridan and I are back to normalcy during the day, homeschooling
9. The weather is looking up, and we can play outside
10. Sheridan keeps bouncing backs after setbacks
11. All the kids sleep at night
12. I have 2 people to talk to outside of Richard who understand
13. Scripture reading and praying has become a solid rock of security for me in the last 19 days
God is working a miracle here. It's hard, but it's going to be so worth it to see what He's going to do.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Blessings and Tears
We've now had Jordan and Cameron for 10 days. Honestly, it was a long 10 days, as school wasn't in session, we played ALL DAY LONG and were adjusting to strangers living with us. There are many high points: games played, laughter, tickle fests, and hugs. First Razorback Basketball game, playing with Trey, learning to play kickball at the church.
However, there are moments each day when the adjusting is hard on everyone. I'm learning to walk in faith like never before. Some of the feelings I have remind me of when Ryan was born, just looking into his face and wondering, "What have I gotten myself into?" "My life will never be the same!" I recognize those as early jitters in a big plan that God has for us. Waiting for Him to smooth over the rough places is hard but certainly worth it. I've become a woman who mumbles prayers all day long, and is choosing sleep over reading, dishes over resting, and I'm trying to smile through the tears of the little one at nighttime. I'm sure we're well on our way to victories...I must be more patient and content...words I say EVERY DAY to our newest little ones.
However, there are moments each day when the adjusting is hard on everyone. I'm learning to walk in faith like never before. Some of the feelings I have remind me of when Ryan was born, just looking into his face and wondering, "What have I gotten myself into?" "My life will never be the same!" I recognize those as early jitters in a big plan that God has for us. Waiting for Him to smooth over the rough places is hard but certainly worth it. I've become a woman who mumbles prayers all day long, and is choosing sleep over reading, dishes over resting, and I'm trying to smile through the tears of the little one at nighttime. I'm sure we're well on our way to victories...I must be more patient and content...words I say EVERY DAY to our newest little ones.
First Razorback Basketball game ever. No, first basketball game ever. He stood the entire first half staring at the players. The boy LOVES basketball.
Monday, December 30, 2013
Dr Visits and Junior Monopoly
I should be in bed. I should have an ice pack on my neck to relieve the stress. However, this is the best I've felt all day. We left town with littleM and bigM today at 10am. We had 2 appointments in LR and needed to do some essential shopping in Conway on the way. (I cannot send them to school next week in what they brought here)
I had to talk Sheridan into staying at home. She was really upset about not going, but she doesn't understand that she is emotionally exhausted. I can hear it in her voice and see it in her face. She is having the best time with the kids, has the best attitude toward them I could ever ask for, but it is taking it's toll. She's been almost an only child for a few months and she didn't realize she needed some "quiet time." I left her to relax with Ryan and Erin.
Our first appointment was with middleM's therapist. We are so thankful for the great facility he is at, for this seemingly very caring man who talks to him every day, who cares about him, and who encouraged us in preparing for his adjustment to our home. He answered a lot of our questions, took notes on our conversation and was very positive about us bringing him home soon. We set a date in February that we are using as our goal. We then got to visit middleM and discovered that he was confused about when he was coming home, had talked some of the attendants into helping him pack up his bags this morning, and had experienced a big disappointment today. How utterly despondent I would've been, but as a child who experiences disappointments every day, he seemed to have moved through it, wanted to show us some of his new Christmas toys, and was mildly interested in the fact that we were going to make a countdown calendar until he gets to come home. We looked at his toys, saw some of his schoolwork on the wall on the way out of the building, and then left him. Again.
BigM's appointment was at 3pm. We saw a doctor at 5:10. 2 hours and 10 minutes after our appointment time. I cannot write the sad details of our 8 minute visit with this doctor. I was about to lose my cool when I realized it would not help anyone for me to tell this doctor how I felt about the quality of our visit. I left with a headache in the middle of my forehead. The pressure was building.
My superhero was outside, having entertained our tiny spark plug for 2 hours and 15 minutes. We headed home, made an unplanned dinner stop (it was going to be after 7 when we got home), and apologized to everyone at home for basically abandoning them all day by themselves. Quote of the day...BigM says, "I can't wait to get home and see them!"
The worst part of the day wasn't yet upon us: Bedtime with a child who DOES NOT like to go to bed.
Call me spoiled, but I dread bedtime. (even thought it has boosted my prayer life) I haven't ever heard crying like this one does every night. Tonight, Richard came out of Ms room in record time, and I was amazed...and humbled by our BIG BIG God. Not one tear was shed.
AND THEN, bigM came in and showed me her new hairdo Erin created. (sweet, sweet sister love here)
AND THEN, bigM, Sheridan and I played a game of Junior Monopoly (even though I was sure I was going to take a hot Jacuzzi) and the game was fun! BigM was laughing, Sheridan was laughing, I was the loser, and the winner...all at the same time.
PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW. 4 days down, forever to go.
I had to talk Sheridan into staying at home. She was really upset about not going, but she doesn't understand that she is emotionally exhausted. I can hear it in her voice and see it in her face. She is having the best time with the kids, has the best attitude toward them I could ever ask for, but it is taking it's toll. She's been almost an only child for a few months and she didn't realize she needed some "quiet time." I left her to relax with Ryan and Erin.
Our first appointment was with middleM's therapist. We are so thankful for the great facility he is at, for this seemingly very caring man who talks to him every day, who cares about him, and who encouraged us in preparing for his adjustment to our home. He answered a lot of our questions, took notes on our conversation and was very positive about us bringing him home soon. We set a date in February that we are using as our goal. We then got to visit middleM and discovered that he was confused about when he was coming home, had talked some of the attendants into helping him pack up his bags this morning, and had experienced a big disappointment today. How utterly despondent I would've been, but as a child who experiences disappointments every day, he seemed to have moved through it, wanted to show us some of his new Christmas toys, and was mildly interested in the fact that we were going to make a countdown calendar until he gets to come home. We looked at his toys, saw some of his schoolwork on the wall on the way out of the building, and then left him. Again.
BigM's appointment was at 3pm. We saw a doctor at 5:10. 2 hours and 10 minutes after our appointment time. I cannot write the sad details of our 8 minute visit with this doctor. I was about to lose my cool when I realized it would not help anyone for me to tell this doctor how I felt about the quality of our visit. I left with a headache in the middle of my forehead. The pressure was building.
My superhero was outside, having entertained our tiny spark plug for 2 hours and 15 minutes. We headed home, made an unplanned dinner stop (it was going to be after 7 when we got home), and apologized to everyone at home for basically abandoning them all day by themselves. Quote of the day...BigM says, "I can't wait to get home and see them!"
The worst part of the day wasn't yet upon us: Bedtime with a child who DOES NOT like to go to bed.
Call me spoiled, but I dread bedtime. (even thought it has boosted my prayer life) I haven't ever heard crying like this one does every night. Tonight, Richard came out of Ms room in record time, and I was amazed...and humbled by our BIG BIG God. Not one tear was shed.
AND THEN, bigM came in and showed me her new hairdo Erin created. (sweet, sweet sister love here)
AND THEN, bigM, Sheridan and I played a game of Junior Monopoly (even though I was sure I was going to take a hot Jacuzzi) and the game was fun! BigM was laughing, Sheridan was laughing, I was the loser, and the winner...all at the same time.
PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW. 4 days down, forever to go.
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Day 1: six plus three
This truly choked me up, and even tugged on the adoption specialist who was there to help us get him. As littleM went out the door and ran into Lauren's arms, we loaded his bag of clothes and noticed both the ladies working there were standing at the glass doors looking at us go. There were a room full of children there... watching our happy ending. For the first time ever, the 9 Rogers were together in the parking lot. It was surreal. And we were in 2 cars...because we don't have (and won't ever have) a passenger van!
We went to eat an early lunch at McDonalds..our first gourmet meal together. Then we headed to the River Walk bridge in Little Rock for some exercise and room to play. We had middleM for just a few hours. He wasn't going to get to go home with us, but we're not sure he understood that the other Ms were getting to come to our house.
It's been 2 long days. The newest Rogers slept around 12 hours each last night. I was the only one who didn't get very much sleep. I mean, I was exhausted (mentally) but couldn't believe we had 2 kids sleeping in our home and we don't even know anything about them! Do they sleep walk? Do they eat mac and cheese? Where are the prescriptions for their medicine? Where are all their clothes? Why didn't they come with their toys? ... Right this minute S and bigM are sharing a chair watching a movie, littleM and Richard are snuggled together watching and all is well. Two days down...a lifetime to go. (No faces or names can be posted yet...)
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