Adoption is the hardest thing I have ever done...and I was in labor with Ryan for 22 hours. I've also survived a failed business. I just thought those tested my faith. But no, they were drops in the bucket compared to the buckets of tears I have shed in the last 22 days.
This is what I know:
1. The children we have are in the best place they could be.
2. They have not been parented in the last 3 years, as far as we can tell.
3. Children who have not been parented have LOTS AND LOTS of defensive mechanisms that they use to protect themselves. (crying, arguing, fussing, screaming, lying, complaining, etc)
4. Children who have not been parented have very few skills that other children might have. (wiping their bottoms, taking showers, eating with a fork, making decisions)
5. Children who have not had sisters and brothers in a home (where they haven't been parented) don't know things other children might know. (how to share without a major altercation, how to play with others and not fight, how to say any positive words, how to lose a game without a major meltdown)
6. Children who haven't been in a healthy home love to play hide and seek, get lots of hugs, play at playgrounds, ride scooters and shoot baskets in the driveway, have snacks, sit close to others on a couch, look at pictures of themselves, and go to church.
My husband is the rock of our family. He has stayed strong on the days I could not hardly talk without choking up. He has taken shifts at bedtime when I did not think I could. He has talked at least one of our kids down from a major fit on the phone, when he was out of town and I was out of ideas. On all my weak days he has been strong. (Note: Single parents...need their hands squeezed, looked in the eyes, and prayed for.)
I have asked myself a hundred times how parents parent if they don't have God. I have prayed over our days and our nights, our bedtimes and their teachers, over their reaction to our dinners, and about their words and their minds a million times EACH DAY. The hope I have in Christ and His ABSOLUTE SOVREIGNTY is sometimes ALL I HAVE to keep moving.
From the children's point of view (of which I can only guess), they have been picked up and moved in with strangers. They are at a new home, in a new town, in new schools. Their new mom and dad make them sit up at the table, share toys, help them pick out clothes/shoes/hairdos every day. They are hearing "no" more than they've ever heard before. It seems silly and is frustrating everytime we say "no." (Whether it is to limit their ketchup intake, restricting their wii time, enforcing a bedtime, or keeping them inside on a 30 degree day) They're here to stay and their normal tactics aren't working, they are not getting their way and, they don't know if they can trust what we say.
Last Sunday in church we sang:
"On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay"
This morning we sang:
"All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough"
If God is enough, and I've always thought I believed that...and I CHOOSE to believe that TODAY...then why am I sick to my stomach with anxiety, and why would I think He will give me more than He can handle in my life? I'm making this song my mantra this week, I'll hum it all week and remember that HE IS ENOUGH for this situation and for me, and for these kids.
No comments:
Post a Comment