Last Thursday night I almost called it quits. Richard was gone, Erin was gone and our new family members went a little crazy. By crazy, I mean they took turns...having fits. From 6pm - 8:50pm. Sheridan played in the living room with the quiet one while I tried to talk down, wrestle and subdue the upset one. It was a very trying night, and it challenged me so much I wondered if I had enough endurance to withstand any more nights like that. I talked to Richard as he travelled home from work, and I called a friend who has been in this place before. I cried through both conversations and finally put myself in bed with DVDs from the DHS on loving children of trauma. I waited until Richard got home to turn out the light and let him hold me so I could go to sleep.
The next morning I called their AS and let her know I wasn't sure what to do. She told me I needed to set boundaries, be consistent and let her know if she needed to make other arrangements for the kids. I told her I wanted to do this, and I just needed to let her know where we were.
So, with that in mind, I want to record what has happened since I picked them up from school today:
Richard is not in town, and Erin is at a swim meet all day in Siloam Springs. Me and the kids...
1) 3:20: Played basketball and rode scooters outside. (no fussing, no fighting, no screaming in the yard, and not even a skinned knee)
2) 4:30: Had a snack, then had "time alone." One child chose a bath, one child read on her own, and Cam played on his blanket in the living room with 2 toys, happily! I caught up on my emails and basked in the peace.
3) 5:20: After more than 30 minutes of time alone everyone came in for dinner, that everyone loved. Who knew they would love salad? And they want seconds of it!
4) 6:00: Next, we had "table time" where we all sat down with some kind of homework. Because one of the kids doesn't like getting work done, it's a great idea Richard came up with for the pressure to be off of one. Of course, Cam wanted to play, so it took him a little time to warm up to his notebook, but after we used the pointy pencil he got from school, he got into it and everyone got their work done in record time.
5) 6:35: Hide and Seek. Their choice. Since Cam is scared of monsters, there is a little delay when he is the seeker, but they worked it out and played until someone got a cramp hiding in the armoire.
6) Uno. Can't believe how many times we can play this game and they still have interest. Cam can play, and does well for a just-6 year old.
7) 7:00: Cam gets a bath and Sheridan takes a shower. Jordan catches a show on Disney.
8) While a movie plays, Cam plays a game on the couch, Jordan snuggles on the couch with me and Sheridan watches from a chair.
9) 8:05: Cam hugs the girls and requests a story. After reading about Jesus feeding the 5000, we say prayers, he reminds me he's afraid of the dark, and I shut the door. He's all quiet and asleep by 8:10. (5th day in a row)
10) The girls and I play more Uno.
11) 9:10: The girls brush their teeth and get in bed. I pray over them, kiss their heads and leave the room.
IT'S A HUGE DAY. Just one week after the worst night with the kids. I cannot find the appropriate words to describe the feeling I have right now. I'm wondering if I ran a marathon if I'd feel this way when I finished the 10th mile, or the 11th, or the half way point. I have no idea where I am in the race...but I pray we're facing forward for many more days to come.
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