LONGGGG WEEKEND

Last weekend I was sick. On the third day I thought maybe it was the flu, but I made a quick recovery when I got extra sleep, so I don't know what I had. There's never a good time to be sick, but I grieve that it should've been a fun weekend for the kids (they were out of school on Friday!) and yet, they took care of themselves for most of two days and ate quite a bit of frozen food. They were great, used their imagination (set up a doll hospital downstairs), and took the initiative to help with a few meals when I really just couldn't get up.

It always catches me off guard when my kids step up and do more than I expect. It shouldn't, but it does. I mean, the whole idea of parenting is to parent for the future, for the long haul. Parenting isn't a sprint, it's a marathon, and I've been running it for over 21 years. When my kids show what they've learned, whether it be an attitude or an action, it's like a little pat on the back from God for me to just keep going.

Of course, I felt sorry for myself first. Of course, I doubted God's timing on the weekend to be sick. But of course, He is God, and He is able. And we all survived!

Treasure

I like this image of this verse. The word "Family" isn't in the verse, and usually this verse is used to refer to money. This last week, while doing some studying on a few topics I was struggling with, this verse jumped out of the page to me. And I thought, "Where is my treasure?" 

I can say I don't have a real love affair with money, I like to have it to spend, but I don't get a lot of joy from over-spending or stretching the budget. So, if it's not money, or things, what is it? This was hard for me, because, I think I've been treasuring ME above other things. I like to have "my time", "my way" and "my schedule." 

I'm embarrassed (but it's freeing to admit) but  I've realized I consider my big family my "job" and not my treasure. I've come to the decision that if I don't make my children, my husband and our life my treasure, then I'll continue to struggle mentally with "the job" of a big family. I pray God will help me treasure the life He has given me, the day to day things, the hard things, the stressful things, and the endless carpooling. I'm pretty sure it's a state of mind that will revolutionize the way I love. 

Believing

I'll tell you right now, today has not been good. It all started at 11:15 when I told Cam he couldn't bring 3 noise-making super heroes in the car on our trip to Russellville. It was just the beginning of a LONG day. We did not go to Russellville. It's 7pm and he's still in his room, his voice should be hoarse from screaming this afternoon, but he's completely over it.

As a matter of fact, I had to put him in the car to get Erin from work and on the way to the pool in the back seat he told Sheridan he was sorry for being mean today, asked Jordan to forgive him for making faces at her, and then asked me to forgive him for being mean today. Unprovoked. He understands reconciliation, unfortunately, he has had lots of practice as he sometimes falls in the PIT of these fits and I cannot get him out.

One thing, when I lose it, and I certainly NEVER mean to get so angry right back at him, but I do....when I lose it, or when I'm completely calm, I always look at him in the eye and tell him no matter how he acts, I still love him. He needs to know that and I need to say it. He's not going anywhere and I have faith that someday he'll believe it's better when he's making good decisions.